I recently interviewed a client about her concern with her current partner and how he is so devoted to his mother. My client Margaret was asking for support in how to help keep her boundaries, and what can she do to help her partner Mark maintain his boundaries, now that his 90-year-old mother has moved to Vancouver (names and certain details changed to Read more
Boundaries: Who am I, in relationship to you?
In my last blog, I wrote about people pleasers and how hard it is for them to set personal boundaries. What are boundaries? Personal boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. A person with healthy boundaries can say “no” to others when they want to, but they are also comfortable opening themselves up to intimacy and Read more
People Pleasers: The only one they can’t please is themselves!
Are you a person who puts everyone else first and do not put your needs first? In my counselling practice I see many people who are people pleasers. This trait is often created at a young age when a child doesn't get enough of their emotional needs met by a caretaker. Children are dependent and need to be connected to an adult for survival. If the parent Read more
5 Ways to Foster Secure Attachment in Your Relationship
Last month I wrote about a webinar I enjoyed from Dr. Diane Poole Heller. She is an expert in working with trauma and attachment styles. You can read the previous blog post to review the attachment styles. Here are the attachment terms: Children Adults Secure Read more
Attachment Traits Explained
I was recently listening to a Masterclass called Restoring Relational Resilience by Dr. Diane Poole Heller, who is a psychologist working out of Colorado. Her talk was describing the four attachment styles and how to recognize them in adulthood. Looking at attachment styles informs me what a client did or did not get in their early formative years that dictates their Read more